Armenian v. Calvinism

So I was thinking last night about something my friend had mentioned the other day. Right now in Theology class were are talking about Calvinism and Armenianism so we were just having a friendly discussion about that, then he mentioned (realize this is from a Calvinistic position to an Armenian).

"I do think it is funny that most Armenians don't agree on many things"

To that I gave the typical...it doesn't matter who agrees, it only matters what's right. Well that got me thinking...why is this? Why do reformed theologians tend toagree more about the issues. Then it came to me last night while talking with my reformed friend. He mentioned that there was a group of the 7 local reformed who got together and discussed theology over pancakes (the conservatives pint ;-). Then I realized that over the years at Northland there has been many groups like this...in fact it seems that most people are reformed or have a tendency to be reformed around these parts of America.

Well then my revelation came to me. Reformed are groupies who are very insecure and need to be around others who agree in order for them to feel accepted. Seriously, when is the last time you saw a reformed stand up for his stuff while alone? Reformed need each other, that is why they must meet and figure it all out. My reformed friends, when I challenge their thinking, always say something like this: "Well John Piper and my 6 friends are Reformed, so there". I don't give a ___ about who is reformed. I mean I like Piper and all but he's not God or the Bible. Furthermore, The Armenian says "I believe what I believe and I am right, and God agrees with me...period". Even at Northland there is a solid contingency of Armenian, and actually they are the most conversant with the issues (on both sides). The Armenian here stand up alone simply because they have to. Seems like it should be the other way around! The majority should be the most confident, but here its the opposite.

Then I started thinking some more and realized that this all makes sense. Reformed believe in the total sovereignty of God and total inability of man. So it makes sense that they would be so worried about lining all the ducks up. If God is so big and powerful than man must do something to please a descendant God (just poking a little fun here). Yet on the flip-side...the Armenian must be confident of his works because they keep him saved ;-). The Armenian doesn't explain away the Bible, they just say...its God's word and I will obey it...sure my position has problems but who cares, I love Jesus!

Anyways, just some random thoughts that is meant mostly for some satire. I really don't believe any of this I just wanted to shed some humor on this issue. Hope you all enjoy it.